Muthalik, Ramsena and a few pink chaddis.

Recently media unearthed a 'leader' out of nowhere. His name is Pramod Muthalik, the Karnataka version of Raj Thakere. The man woke up one day and realised that his culture is under attack. He formed a Sena that day itself and recruited some monkeys as Ram did. The monkeys pulled the hair of innocent girls and created nuisance to public. Apparently the government of Karnataka is run by Muthalik's dear friends, who were also worried abut Indian culture, as elections are nearby.

Valentine's day is a day for lovers. Narrow minded people like Muthalik cannot stop people from loving each other. The existence of this world depends on the eternal feeling called love. Bangalore reacted to Muthalik's comments by 'Pink chaddi campaign'. Soon Muthalikwill be seen as a roadside salesman selling chaddis, as he will not have space in house to keep those. The only problem his customers face will be lack of variety in terms of colour.

The economic prosperity of Karanataka and bangalore is greatly attributed to the IT/ITES sector. The westernised youths pay huge taxes to government, which is used to fund developmental programs for the state. Government of Karnataka tried to cover up the atrocities by Muthalik and co with some ridiculous comments. The answer for that came from Home minister Chidambaram who ensured that Muthalik and his monkeys spend their valuable time inside the lock up on Valentine's day.

There is one solution for this problem, which will ensure that no more goons will surface in future to do such shameful acts. All these men should be sent to the army and post them on the front posts of the army. The self proclaimed saviors can channelise their hate to do something which is useful for the country. Rather than showing their temper on girls, they can use it against our enemies.

For Muthalik and his Monkeys, with lots of 'LOVE'.

Slumdog aiming Oscars!

Slumdog Millionaire has sparked off serious debates all over India. One set of people are proud of the movie because a film based on India and acted by Indians and it won prestigious awards and got nominated for Oscars while some feel that the film portrays a wrong image about India.

The film was severely criticized by greats like Amitabh Bachan for showing the slums of India and projecting a wrong image. The film has disturbing visuals of India and its hard to digest for any proud Indian. However, it is unfair to say that Danny Boyle has projected a false image of India to the western audience. Whatever he has showed in his movie, is a reality which still exists. Slums can be seen in almost every Indian city, there is a vast majority of people under poverty line and are deprived of basic amenities. The riots against Muslims is another scene which can damage the secure image of India. The riots, slums and underworld featured in numerous bollywood movies before. Now people are worried about the image of India just because the movie is directed by someone from west. Why do we have to cover up the truth?



The movie is about Jamal's journey of life and love from the slums to the hot seat of TV show, "who wants to be a millionaire". It portrays the survival instincts of a slum
kid and his never-say-die attitude and determination to find his lost love. Fresh faces, brilliant screenplay and amazing direction makes this movie better than typical bollywood stuff. Its a refreshing change after stupid movies like 'Rab Ne Bana di Jodi'. May be our bollywood directors should learn a few things from this movie.The focus of bollywood is on size zero actresses, designer costumes, foreign locations and six pack heroes. They have completely gone offtrack as they forgot that the essence of a cinema is its storyline, screenplay, characters and direction.

I think Amitabh is just annoyed coz his real life role as a TV host was portrayed as an arrogant character in the movie. Kudos to Anil Kapoor for his excellent acting skills.AR Rahman is finally being recognised in International arena. We all know he is a rare talent and a musical genius, however his best works over the years went unnoticed in the west. Dev Patel, Irfan Khan, Freida Pinto and the slum kids put up a good performance. (some of the slum kids are actually from the slums of mumbai). Now the wait is for Oscars, for the first time Indians will be eager to watch it live.

The film has a typical bollywood ending of Boy and Girl getting reunited in a crowded place. It is a masala mix of romance, drama and suspense. It will not be easy for a movie influenced by bollywood, to compete with hollywood movies in Oscars. Anyways lets hope for the best. Jai Ho!

Also read - Real Vs Reel

2009 - Few predictions from Attukal Nostradamus!

2009 will see some of the most exciting and weird incidents.

- After recession, unemployed Americans will start BPOs and work will be outsourced from India to US. Training centres to teach Hindi will crop up everywhere in America.

- Sreesanth, after being slapped out of the team due to his 'acute aggression syndrome', will get in to movies. There will not be much of a change in his life as he will be doing the same thing he did on the cricket field like, dancing, abusing everyone and most importantly getting slapped regularly - The only difference will be instead of the hard hands of bhajji, it will be soft hands of heroines.

- Reality shows will go one step further. Whenever there is a dispute between the judges, the stage will be converted to a boxing ring and the dispute will be solved by a knockout.

- Raghu will change the format of roadies, he will ask candidates to sing bhajans, ask them to say Ten commandments and debate on Mahatma Ghandhi's 'My experiences with truth'.

- Raj Thakare will go for an all India trip, he will be spending a lot of time in Bihar with Laloo studying the possibilities of generating power from cattle fodder.

- Rajnikanth will do an Art film with adoor gopalakrishnan. His fans will see him staring at a chair and smiling without a single dialogue throughout the film.

- RSS cadets will do community services in muslim dominated 'mini pakistan'areas all across India.

- ShahRukh Khan will be seen romancing with a new heroine in 2009 - Nia, 12 years old.

- Ghajini will be made in Malayalam and mohan lal will act as hero. He is going to show his 6 packs in that movie.

- Mammooty will leave to USA to learn dance from Michael Jackson. Mammooty's moonwalk will feature in his upcoming films.

- K Karunakaran will finally say yes to 'Yamaraj'. However, he will create groups in his kingdom and Chitragupta will revolt against Yama with the backing of our leader. We all will be lucky because as long as Leader is there, we will not die.

- Achumama will finally decide to stop talking. He will go to Vallikavu to get 'Jadu ki Jhappi' (Magic hug) from Amma to remove all his frustrations.

- Some of the mega serials will end this year because the serial industry is hit by an acute shortage of glycerine.

- Item girls like Mallika sherawat and rakhi sawant will join church as nuns, as some of the nuns have put up a better'show'compared to them in 2008.

- DYFI will change their strategy and embrace non violence. If you slap a DYFI 'child', he will not only show his other cheek but also ensure that he gets a tight one in that also.

Merry Christmas

GOD - Created by Saints, destroyed by Fundamentalists

God - a name which we all fear, respect, worship, love and obey diligently. There are numerous Gods across the globe, different races have different gods of their own, and countless stories about gods and their miracles are injected to our brains before we are able to think of our own. We all are systematically brain washed by our religions through our parents and society.

There is one thing common about gods - they all have super powers. They have a highly sophisticated intelligence network which gives them instant reports about each and everything which is happening across the world. He will analyse your behaviour and weigh the good and bad deeds we have done in this world and then determine whether we should go to heaven or hell once you die. Simply amazing isn't it?

Another common trait of gods across the world is that they will never ever appear in public. The messages are always conveyed by his preachers, who claim they have direct access to god and his 'messages'. Even though they are not able to do significant 'miracles' by themselves, they normally come up with some simple tricks like catching Shiva lingas and even Rolex watches from thin air. (A professional magician can perform much better tricks than that!)

Questions about God have always been dealt with stupid philosophy by the preachers. Their answers are always vague, confusing, without any evidence whatsoever and will always be based on 'stories' and 'books' written in prehistoric times. Still majority of our educated society including scientists and doctors believe and follow 'non existing' Gods.

Gods were created by the rulers of the land when people were as good as animals. Religions were created by great thinkers in order to guide mankind to a civilised life and to create an environment of peace and mutual respect. Religions had contributed a great deal to human race. They played a pivotal role in shaping up great civilisations. Religions were relevant and indispensable in ancient times, as they ensured that people move in the right direction. The uneducated and uncultured people during those times were made to believe that some 'super power' is monitoring them and they will be accountable for their actions, thereby creating a fear (of god) which forced people to live a honest life.

But things are different now; human race has evolved a great deal. We all are educated and civilised. We are capable of understanding good and bad. Religions have lost relevance as the ill effects are more than the merits. People need to understand that there is no point in being oversensitive over religions. Religions are nothing but a few well written stories by some of the greatest visionaries who lived centuries ago. Even in their wildest imaginations, they would not have foreseen current situation where religions, most probably will initiate the destruction of mankind.

We lead a luxurious life compared to our ancestors; thanks to the technology, electronic equipments, advanced medicines, infrastructure, internet etc. None of this was given to us by God or his ‘spokespersons’. This is the result of the hard work of normal human beings with no extraordinary powers. I think its time to realise the truth – ‘There is no God’ and we have only one life. We need to experience the beauty of the greatest mystery of all times – “Life”, rather than fighting each other for silly reasons like religion and nationality.

Mumbai Terror attack - Time to ACT

Mumbai is attacked again. Innocent people ran for cover when ruthless terrorists sprayed bullets. Reports suggest that the terrorists came via sea route from pakistan. This confirms the incapability of our coast guard. A new organisation named 'Deccan Mujahudin' has claimed responsibility. Even as one of the terrorist claimed that he is from hyderabad, his punjabi accent clearly reveals his links across the border.

Pakistani Foreign minister offered 'condolences' and offered a 'hotline' between Intelligence officials. May be our ministers will accept this offer and will coordinate with ISI. ISI will be regularly updated by valuable information which they will use to train more terrorists and send us via sea, land or air probably, coz its no secret that our aerial surveillance radars are outdated.

Pakistani press and ministers accused India of raising false allegations and also commented that the politicians in India are accusing them to cover their intelligence failures. But the fact remains that the terrorists came from Pakistan and was trained in pakistan by Lashkar. Where is pakistan's intelligence when these terrorists planned their operation in their land? There is no doubt that ISI has significant links with LET and even America and rest of the world is aware of that after the Kabul Indian embassy attack. Pakistan's democratic government has taken steps to minimise the influence of ISI in politics. ISI was pressurised from all the sides. Without ISI and Pakistan army's support, nobody can plan and execute such an attack. The democratic government in pakistan is a silent spectators of this proxy war.

Now focus is on India. How the government is going to react to this ruthless assault? The attack revealed how vulnerable Indians are in the hands of terror. It is virtually impossible to prevent infiltrations from pakistan and bangladesh completely, because we have a very long coastal line and we share porous borders with Pakistan, Nepal and Bangladesh. We need proactive approach, rather than reacting after a terror strike. The budget allocation of 100,000 crore rupees for defense is not just to use the army for rescue operations after terror strikes and natural calamities, we need to use them when the taxpayers who paid this money has been shot in streets like dogs.

We had enough of diplomatic missions after terror attacks. we cannot sit and talk about this and enforce laws to curb terror. Nothing will stop until we hunt down these rats from their burrows in pakistan. We should not hesitate to cross the border, as the government of pakistan is helpless to prevent terrorists backed by ISI. Gandhigiri and non violence will look good only in bollywood movies. Even Gandhi would have applied for a gun license now. A full fledged war is anyday better than this proxy war, where innocent civilians are butchered like cattle. We have a history of handling issues casually, kandahar and kargil are two examples of it. India should learn from Israelis, their commandos went all the way to Uganda and freed the hostages after storming in to the airport.

Whole of India offered prayers to those brave cops who took the bullets in their chest. They led from the front, risking their life and died for the country. We cannot afford this to happen again. we should fight this terror with all the power we have got, otherwise one day you will find a terrorist walking in to your living room carrying a AK 47 and that will sadly be the last thing you see in this world.

Terrorism weds Politics

As Indians we are quite familiar with terrorism, in fact we are living in a country where our chances of returning home after work is pretty low. Breaking news about blasts has been a regular feature in all the media channels. However, Its no more a shocking news for any of us. Over the years, terrorist organisations and those who are arrested in connection with terrorist activities are invariably Muslims. Now things have changed, we have our own 'saffron terror'.

Terrorism is BJP's main campaign weapon against congress. There is widespread panic among public due to the ruthless blasts across the country. BJP was trying to capitalise on this issue by offering security to citizens if they come to power. All of a sudden news about saffron terror broke out, giving out indications of a political drama scripted by congress to upset BJP's campaign. At first, many thought that this is a step to please minorities and secure their votes, especially after Muslim organisations accused police of staging a fake encounter at Jamianagar. Not sure whether Police will actually sacrifice one among them for a 'fake encounter'.

However, on the other side saffron brigade once again proved that they can match Islamic terror by all means. RSS and Bajrang Dal have a history of attacking minority communities in order to save 'Hindutva'. Hinduism always preached peaceful coexistence with other religions. The self imposed upholders of Hinduism should understand that they are spoiling the image of the religion by their barbarian acts. Why are the saffron clad saints, interested in politics and fighting for power? A saint, as per definition is 'an extremely virtuous person, who has no interest in material things’. I am confused; the saints should be in Himalayas, praying to god standing in one leg. What are they doing here in civilised cities? Apparently they were making bombs and helping other anti social elements to plant bombs in mosques.

Now, is this bombing an oppression against Islamic terror or is there a hidden political agenda as well? Each blast will enforce BJP's point of this country being insecure to live. So these blasts helped to boost their campaign. I have to admit congress has done well to block this campaign by arresting elements of 'Saffron terror'. This has hit BJP very badly as the arrested saint has close relations with top BJP leaders. The most disheartening fact is that the RDX for the blasts was supplied from a member of our 'secular' Army.

This proved that terrorism has no religion. The act of terror can come from any section, any religion, any class. The only thing common is that these acts are initiated by insane minds to express their anger towards established systems by cowardly acts like killing innocent people who have no connection with the 'established systems' they are revolting against.

Politics is a full fledged war now. Political parties use even the acts of terror as a weapon to fight each other. The common man, who is watching all these Tamasha take it as another joke in laughter challenge and move on. Recently Modi demolished temples in Gandhinagar which is Advani's constituency. Its double benefit (oru vedikku 2 pakshi) to him as he can reduce the chances of Advani winning the elections and Modi can project himself as a national leader who is pro-development and secular. Congress is no better, they have been 'auctioning' tickets for elections. God save India!

Dedicated to all venomous cobras in politics - Nagin by Decibel

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