Friday, July 25, 2008

Smoking Expedition

When I was in school (think its 8th std), me and my friend sapath discovered a fact - most of the cool dudes in our town were smokers. We could see them smoking in bus stand, parks and other public places which has sparked curiosity in our innocent (?) minds. We started noticing smokers, the way they hold the cigarette, the way they send out those lovely white fumes out of their noses, some of them even used to send smoke rings (which require special skill and training i guess).

We started discussing about this fantastic white cylindrical substance which has got fire at one end and a fool at other end. We both were a little adventurous than the others in school and we decided to test this amazing substance, which can do wonders to our personality. Not to forget those film stars who used to smoke cartons of cigarette just to prove that they are cool and the villains smoke (usually the pipes) to prove that they are powerful.

We decided that we need to test this wonderful thing, and started planning for it. We would have spend at least 5 days to plan this operation. The first question in front of us was, who will buy the cigarette. I cant do it because school is near my house and everybody around the school knows me. Sapath is the shortest in our class and he looks like a fifth standard student even though he in Eighth, and selling cigarettes to minors is a crime. Do not ask me who is selling cigarettes to +2 guys.

We made a market study and spotted at least 4-5 five small shops (pettikada) where we can get the stuff. I persuaded Sapath to buy cigarette and he agreed. We zeroed in on one of the small shops near our school which is run by an old lady whose house is attached to the small shop. We both went near the shop in the evening, studied the place for a while, standing at the opposite side of the road. Finally the moment arrived, Sapath with all his courage crossed the road and walked steadily towards the shop. I stood at the opposite side and was shivering.

He saw the wills packet inside the glass shelf , however the old lady was not in sight. she was inside the house attached to the shop. He called gently, Ammachiii... The old lady answered his call from inside, she asked "what do u want mone" . He pointed out the cigarette pack, without answering her. I could see Sapath's courage draining out at a rapid pace, sweat pouring out from his forehead, and his hands were shivering. She again asked from inside, "what is that you want". He said softly in a shivering voice 'ammachi thande ithu' (Grannie, this one). The old lady now came out and entered the shop, but unfortunately his courage has completely drained out by this time and he turned and look at me who is standing on the other side watching the drama. He shouted 'Ajithe oddikkoda' (Ajith Run!!). The next second, two brave boys started running at a speed of 58 km/hr. The lady thought sapath has taken something from the shop and she started chasing us for a few meters. However the race was easily won by the fresh young legs.

We ran till the vacant ground and sat there for sometime trying to regain our breath. We looked at each other and burst out to laughter. We both reviewed the whole operation and found out the faults in the execution. After one hour of analysis and heated debate, sapath stood up with his head held high and I could see the determination in his eyes. He took the responsibility of goofing up the first attempt. He walked out of the ground at a steady pace and with firm footsteps ( Bhagat singh's picture flashed in my mind for a second). He walked straight to a crowded shop, asked for a cigarette and a match box in a fairly confident voice, ignored the surprise look of the people around and walked out in the same confident way with the cigarettes.

He came running to the ground where I was waiting desperately. He showed the cigarette proudly and I congratulated him for his heroic effort. He lit the cigarette and took a drag, and started coughing. I also followed his path, soon both of us were coughing big time. with smoke in our lungs and nose. We found out that smoking is not that cool as we think.

I am still not a smoker, while sapath was a pretty good smoker during his college days and even when he started working. Recently I got an invitation for an orkut community from Sapath. The name of the community was "I hate cigarettes". He also quit smoking for good!!! Still whenever we meet the first thing we would say each other is "Ammachi thande ithu,,,,,,,, Ajithe Odikkoda !!!"

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Its better to be an Atheist! Thanks to Amrithachaitanya

It all started when a saint named 'Santhosh Madavan' alias 'Amritachaitanya' got busted in kerala for Fraud, Rape of minors, hawala etc etc. Soon the stories of so many so called god men and god women started coming out from every nuke and corner of kerala. News papers and Television media enthusiastically covered the outrage against Swamis, goddesses , pasters and other self proclaimed gods. Every day Malayalees woke up with news of another saint who got arrested for his 'sacred deeds' (seems like most of them are devotees of Lord Krishna).

We got another swami who treated the audience with a hollywood action thriller, and fired a couple of rounds in the police station. Wow!!! It happened in Kerala. which has been marked as one of the best states in terms of law and order. The swami, claimed he is very close to 'balettan' and his son. Poor balettan had no clue (at least that is what he told the media) .

We have got a paster who made millions by just talking about god. He has got crores in his bank account and a few Flats, all that he made by offering a professional service which virtually made all doctors jobless. The funniest part is that the witness was one of the top official in the government health department. Oh jesus 'ivar cheyyunnathu enthanenu ivar ariyunnilla'.

As usual the red volunteers who were really bored for decades as there were no landlords left for them to kill, rose to the occasion. They started tracking down the Gods with the help of their deadly student wing. (Deadly for the society and the public property). The unemployed youth showed the polit beuro that they are ready to take up any job which the party gives. Barbers beware, you guys have got severe competition!! The Student Wing managed to give a pretty decent haircut and shave for a swami. This swami turned out to be an innocent guy who lived in a hut. He has gone to the Human rights commission with his complaint.

I am sure that the comrades (sakhakal) will be angry for my comments, hang on guys I am not so one sided. I like some of your policies, even though majority is crap. I heard most communists are Atheists. They were trying to teach little kids that you should not have a religion, because it has been the source of majority of problems happening across the globe. For a change, I am with the communists for this one. Its better to be an atheist in this century.

I was watching some of the debates in TV, in which some of the renowned Atheists participated actively. Some of the arguments they made were spot on, for which the religious heads had no answer. Remember the controversy created over 'Makarajyothi' in shabarimala. At last its proved that it was lit by none other than our own Police chettans. Unbelievable!!!! May the souls of Tamilians who got killed in the stampede to see the 'jyothi' rest in peace.

People who live in 21st century, how can they be so stupid. We can forgive our ancestors for believing in these superstitions as they were unaware of the scientific inventions, and other information sources which we have in this era. Its cowards who will run to god and self proclaimed gods to solve their problems. Those are the people who are scared to face the ugly face of reality. Its your life and you have to tackle your problems, no god or gods followers are gonna give you food and shelter everyday. They do it sometimes when there is a tsunami. Dont think that it for the poor, Its a 'MARKETING GIMMIK' planned by well established 'corporates'. I work for an MNC in bangalore which has got nothing to do with gods. My company provides funds to many orphanages and many charity institutions which is one of the CSR initiatives (Corporate Social Responsibility). We all should be treated as gods then, as we have also contributed for it.

Jesus, Krishna, Ram ,Allah were all normal human beings with no supernatural powers. They all taught us to love each other. The self proclaimed Gods of this century is exploiting the mindset of people. The God men have found fertile land for their existence in Kerala, which is considered to be 100% literate. I was proud to be a mallu and always boasted about the kerala model and Human development index report about kerala. But how can an MP from my state go for a stupid Godmother's birthday celebration, and watch her dance like 'kali' with her tounge hanging out! Wake up people and listen to Atheists, use your brain and not your heart.