Sunday, January 11, 2009

2009 - Few predictions from Attukal Nostradamus!

2009 will see some of the most exciting and weird incidents.

- After recession, unemployed Americans will start BPOs and work will be outsourced from India to US. Training centres to teach Hindi will crop up everywhere in America.

- Sreesanth, after being slapped out of the team due to his 'acute aggression syndrome', will get in to movies. There will not be much of a change in his life as he will be doing the same thing he did on the cricket field like, dancing, abusing everyone and most importantly getting slapped regularly - The only difference will be instead of the hard hands of bhajji, it will be soft hands of heroines.

- Reality shows will go one step further. Whenever there is a dispute between the judges, the stage will be converted to a boxing ring and the dispute will be solved by a knockout.

- Raghu will change the format of roadies, he will ask candidates to sing bhajans, ask them to say Ten commandments and debate on Mahatma Ghandhi's 'My experiences with truth'.

- Raj Thakare will go for an all India trip, he will be spending a lot of time in Bihar with Laloo studying the possibilities of generating power from cattle fodder.

- Rajnikanth will do an Art film with adoor gopalakrishnan. His fans will see him staring at a chair and smiling without a single dialogue throughout the film.

- RSS cadets will do community services in muslim dominated 'mini pakistan'areas all across India.

- ShahRukh Khan will be seen romancing with a new heroine in 2009 - Nia, 12 years old.

- Ghajini will be made in Malayalam and mohan lal will act as hero. He is going to show his 6 packs in that movie.

- Mammooty will leave to USA to learn dance from Michael Jackson. Mammooty's moonwalk will feature in his upcoming films.

- K Karunakaran will finally say yes to 'Yamaraj'. However, he will create groups in his kingdom and Chitragupta will revolt against Yama with the backing of our leader. We all will be lucky because as long as Leader is there, we will not die.

- Achumama will finally decide to stop talking. He will go to Vallikavu to get 'Jadu ki Jhappi' (Magic hug) from Amma to remove all his frustrations.

- Some of the mega serials will end this year because the serial industry is hit by an acute shortage of glycerine.

- Item girls like Mallika sherawat and rakhi sawant will join church as nuns, as some of the nuns have put up a better'show'compared to them in 2008.

- DYFI will change their strategy and embrace non violence. If you slap a DYFI 'child', he will not only show his other cheek but also ensure that he gets a tight one in that also.