Sunday, January 11, 2009

2009 - Few predictions from Attukal Nostradamus!




2009 will see some of the most exciting and weird incidents.

- After recession, unemployed Americans will start BPOs and work will be outsourced from India to US. Training centres to teach Hindi will crop up everywhere in America.

- Sreesanth, after being slapped out of the team due to his 'acute aggression syndrome', will get in to movies. There will not be much of a change in his life as he will be doing the same thing he did on the cricket field like, dancing, abusing everyone and most importantly getting slapped regularly - The only difference will be instead of the hard hands of bhajji, it will be soft hands of heroines.

- Reality shows will go one step further. Whenever there is a dispute between the judges, the stage will be converted to a boxing ring and the dispute will be solved by a knockout.

- Raghu will change the format of roadies, he will ask candidates to sing bhajans, ask them to say Ten commandments and debate on Mahatma Ghandhi's 'My experiences with truth'.

- Raj Thakare will go for an all India trip, he will be spending a lot of time in Bihar with Laloo studying the possibilities of generating power from cattle fodder.

- Rajnikanth will do an Art film with adoor gopalakrishnan. His fans will see him staring at a chair and smiling without a single dialogue throughout the film.

- RSS cadets will do community services in muslim dominated 'mini pakistan'areas all across India.

- ShahRukh Khan will be seen romancing with a new heroine in 2009 - Nia, 12 years old.

- Ghajini will be made in Malayalam and mohan lal will act as hero. He is going to show his 6 packs in that movie.

- Mammooty will leave to USA to learn dance from Michael Jackson. Mammooty's moonwalk will feature in his upcoming films.

- K Karunakaran will finally say yes to 'Yamaraj'. However, he will create groups in his kingdom and Chitragupta will revolt against Yama with the backing of our leader. We all will be lucky because as long as Leader is there, we will not die.

- Achumama will finally decide to stop talking. He will go to Vallikavu to get 'Jadu ki Jhappi' (Magic hug) from Amma to remove all his frustrations.

- Some of the mega serials will end this year because the serial industry is hit by an acute shortage of glycerine.

- Item girls like Mallika sherawat and rakhi sawant will join church as nuns, as some of the nuns have put up a better'show'compared to them in 2008.

- DYFI will change their strategy and embrace non violence. If you slap a DYFI 'child', he will not only show his other cheek but also ensure that he gets a tight one in that also.

20 comments:

The Layman said...

Ghajini will be made in Malayalam and mohan lal will act as hero. He is going to show his 6 packs in that movie.

ROFL

Hey... jaagrathei..
lalettane thottu kalichaal.. akkali theekkali sookshicho :D

Ajith said...

I am also a lal fan.- "thalla chavittiyal pillaikku kedilla" :)

Bindhu Unny said...

Hilarious :-)

Seema said...

LOL, ROFL. namichu attukal nostradamuse!!!

Ajith said...

@ Bindhu - Thanks :)

@ Seema - Ithoru thudakkam matram. predictions tudarum......:)

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

wah! these predictions are better than bejan daruwalla's predictions..

Ajit said...

great one dude..... :)
photo spaaaari..... Mr. Attukal Nostradamus..... :)

mohanlal will act with a single pack... (one large one).... :P

Happy Kitten said...

LOL! that was too good...

unfortunately I am supposed to be at work and cannot laugh out loud.

Ajith said...

@ - Gayathri - thank u from Ajith daruwalla. (thnks to those 2 pegs of 'daru' which gave me the idea for this post.)

@Ajit - Lal fans are monitoring my blog and comments, so beware!!!

@Happy Kitten - Blogs @ work, hmm I need to inform ur boss.

Ajit said...

i am mohanlal fan myself... :P
I think that he is best actor india has ever produced.....

but aliya, now it is time for him to do roles which suit his age...

Ajith said...

@Ajit - Completely agree. He is the best, and a person who can match the greats of Hollywood. I think time has come for him to stop doing 'college kumaran' roles :)

crazydreams said...

Witty one ! Karunakaran starting groups in Yamaraj's kingdom ...yes, he may do that.But can't imagine Rajnikant without a dialogue .Good piece of imagination .Keep it up !

perturbed perceiver said...

hilarious!!
and Laletta with 6packs!!ROFL!!!!

Tom said...

Cool predictions
- lalettan with 6 packs gosh that was really hilarious :-)....
Ajith puliyanu ketto.... Kazhutha puli.... just kidding....

Ajith said...

@ tom - thanks for commenting mate.

Kazuthapuliyanelum puliyalle eliyallallo :)

Ajith said...

@ Crazy dreams - Leader will be leader even in heaven (or hell:))

@perturbed perceiver - Thanks for the comment.

-Poison- said...

2009 thakartherinjallo mashey :-D

Ajith said...

@Poison - Thanks for the comment

scorpiogenius said...

Great read!

Made me laugh out loud!!:)

Mohanlal's six pack seem even more plausible, but Karuji nodding to "Yamaraj"?? Naaaaah! I dont see that happening.. The 'leader' is hoping to fix his ass into the CMs chair when Achumma is burned out.

The only way "up" is to canvas the Yamaraj to offer Karuji his position now- President of Yamapuri.

Ajith said...

@scorpio - hehe, Karuji is unbeatable isn't he?